Cancel Culture

Simply thinking a counter thought is not enough.

Verbalizing that thought comes with even greater intention and thus consequence.

I almost always doubt the words that come out of my mouth. I fail to remember what I've said.

I’m convinced that I’ve produced the bad; the triggering.

So I try again and the cycle repeats.

Each production grows louder and louder as I desperately try to remember what is said in the moment.

Again, doubt then clouds my brain.

Doubt creates a “false memory” that I must reverse.

And again, the cycle repeats.

The act of replacing a “bad” word with a “good” word is called “cancelling” or “undoing”. This can occur as a mental compulsion or a physical one. I typically use cancelling in the form of a mental compulsion. However, if the obsession is intense enough, I will resort to using cancelling by production. I notice that obsessions intensify when relating to self-important people, events, relationships, ideals, concepts, and so on. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder craves what is most meaningful to you. Once OCD latches on to what you cherish most, it makes ritualizing a life or death situation; It threatens to curse everything you love.

I am still working on combatting OCD when it chooses to attack what’s most meaningful to me. A few tactics I might use:

o Refrain from cancelling and allow myself to sit with the “bad” thoughts

o Purposefully think/say the “bad” thoughts out-loud without ritualizing

Educate, empathize, understand.

And as always, have a lovely week.