If I only had a (new) brain

Back in the day, I would have given anything for a new brain... A brain that doesn't have a chemical imbalance... One that doesn't get fixated on meaningless events... One that doesn't feed off of rituals and compulsions.

Back in the day, I would envy other people. I would wish for their "normal" brains. I would walk from class to class wondering what it would be like have a clear mind without any intrusive thoughts.

Back in the day, I would cry every night wondering why my brain had to be predisposed to developing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

A new brain might relieve me of my OCD, but it would take away so much of what makes me who I am.

Now, I wouldn't trade my brain for the world. Instead, I'm taking full advantage of the therapies and medication(s) that can help make my brain the healthiest version of itself.

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In today's world, we might still feel the pressure to "fix" or "cure" ourselves in order to conform to the conservatively driven social norms. With certain generations, discussion of mental health (along with really anything else that deviates from "the norm") is taboo.

But listen to me carefully... You don't need to be fixed. Why? Because you're not broken. You're unique and wonderful. You are strong and resilient. You are NOT your mental illness.

Mental health conditions cannot be completely fixed or cured, but they can be managed and treated. No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to fully get rid of my OCD. But as painful as that is for me, it won't stop me from utilizing the tools needed to manage and treat my symptoms.

Being cured of mental illness would obviously be wonderful, but it's incredibly unrealistic. So with that being said, fully immerse yourself into your recovery. Take that time to figure out the best ways to manage your symptoms. Learn more about yourself. Watch yourself grow. Be able to feel proud of how far you've come. Your hard work will pay off, I promise.

With just having undergone treatment for a little more than a year, it's amazing how much more fulfilling life is to me now, compared to how I felt a year ago. I love this happier, more optimistic me.

I don't need a new brain to be happy.

And as always, have a lovely evening.