The power of a shower

What’s your least favorite part of your day?

A typical answer might be, “Going to work” or “Waking up for class”. I, on the other hand, would usually respond with, “Taking a shower”.

Seems odd, right? Why would someone not look forward to taking a shower after a long, exhausting day?

For most people, taking a shower is a routine procedure. For me, it’s one of the most strenuous parts of my day.

Unfortunately, I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD is a commonly misconceived condition that presents itself in a variety of different forms, and can become quite serious and debilitating. My OCD consists of intrusive thoughts. These intrusive thoughts are unwanted and unwarranted. Sometimes when I’m walking to class, I try to imagine what it must be like to not have these horrible thoughts constantly stuck in your brain. With anything I do, it must be done with a “good thought” to counteract the “bad thought”, or else something awful will happen to me.

For some reason, taking a shower is a very anxiety-provoking task for me to accomplish. I will walk in and out of the bathroom until it feels “right”. If an intrusive thought comes into my head as I’m turning on the shower, then I have to turn it off and back on again, and again, and again. I will easily go through a bottle of shampoo in only two days time because I cannot possibly be having an intrusive thought when squeezing out the shampoo onto my hand... I’m surprised that I’ve never slipped from all of the shampoo I’ve thrown on the shower floor…

But it doesn’t stop there! I’ll find myself going in and out of the tub over and over again until I feel content. I have trouble picking a towel to use for drying myself off. I have trouble brushing my hair, washing my face, putting on my clothes, walking out of the bathroom, and so on.

These seemingly minute tasks cause me an immense amount of anxiety.

I’m happy to say that I’ve made incredible progress through the practice of Exposure and Response Prevention therapy, and by taking effective medication.

I’m fortunate to have access to professional help. However, I know that not everyone has these luxuries. It’s important that people are exposed to a plethora of different forms of OCD so that they can better understand the condition. And if you do suffer from OCD, know that I understand how you feel. I know how hard it can be. It gets better, I promise.

By sharing my experiences, I hope to help others.